POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournamentsin far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck20zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, withoutcomplaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately s urpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :None required unfortunately.On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,unconditional love,and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!**
Howard County Sheriff Jerry Marr got a disturbing call one Saturday afternoon a few months ago. His 6-year-old grandson Mikey had been hit by a car while fishing in Greentown with his dad. The father and son were near a bridge by the Kokomo Reservoir when a woman lost control of her car, slid off the bridge and hit Mikey at a rate of about 50 mph. Sheriff Marr had seen the results of accidents like this and feared the worst. When he got to Saint Joseph Hospital , he rushed through the emergency room to find Mikey conscious and in fairly good spirits. 'Mikey, what happened?' Sheriff Marr asked. Mikey replied, 'Well, Papaw, I was fishin' with Dad, and some lady runned me over, I flew into a mud puddle, and broke my fishin' pole and I didn't get to catch no fish! 'As it turned out, the impact propelled Mikey about 500 feet, over a few trees and an embankment and in the middle of a mud puddle. His only injuries were to his right femur bone which had broken in two places. Mikey had surgery to place pins in his leg. Otherwise the boy is fine. Since all the boy could talk about was that his fishing pole was broken, the Sheriff went out to Wal-mart and bought him a new one while he was in surgery so he could have it when he came out. The next day the Sheriff sat with Mikey to keep him company in the hospital. Mikey was enjoying his new fishing pole and talked about when he could go fishing again as he cast into the trash can. When they were alone, Mikey, just as matter-of-factly, said, 'Papaw, did you know Jesus is real? Well,' the Sheriff replied, a little startled. ' Yes, Jesus is real to all who believe in him and love him in their hearts. ''No,' said Mikey. 'I mean Jesus is REALLY real. ''What do you mean?' asked the Sheriff. ' I know he's real 'cause I saw him.' said Mikey, still casting into the trash can. ' You did?' said the Sheriff. 'Yep,' said Mikey. 'When that lady runned me over and broke my fishing pole, Jesus caught me in his arms and laid me down in the mud puddle..'
I love genealogy, painting and scrapbooking. I taught painting classes and did craft shows for more years than I can count. I have scraped for over 12 years. I started digital scrapping about five years ago and love it. We have a half-dozen grandkids and I am always snagging their pictures off their "FaceBook" to scrap. My daughter "Suzie" takes beautiful photo's that I try my best to snag for scrapping. I also love all things Americana, Shabby Chic, Vintage and Gently Worn. We both love to visit Thrift Stores and Flea Markets almost every week-end. The one thing I Hate to do is cook. But hubby spoils me by being a great cook and doing it all, even the grocery shopping. The kitchen is his and that is find with me. One of my favorite quotes is: "You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suite me. by ~ C.S. Lewis~